every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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