Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
