You just made me feel so damn special
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
