As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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