i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
