I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
