I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
