You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
