Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It was confusing and full of hummus
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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