You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
vagina is talking i cant
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
