She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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