Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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