But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
