But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
