fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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