Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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