mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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