Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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