no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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