Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
