Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
