If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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