its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
