SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
