just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
