i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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