So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
