he thought i was a dude.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize