Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
