Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
