guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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