drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
