I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
