he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
