I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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