i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
