My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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