We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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