Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
