summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
