he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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