she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
