There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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