I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize