Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
