so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
