I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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