Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
