With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
