I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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