Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Less talking, more tequila
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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