he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
